Dadi - In memoriam

My dearest Dadi,

Came to know a little while ago that you are no more today. Am writing this post amidst uncontrollable sobs, because I so so so wanted to meet you again sometime, somewhere , hold your hand, hug you tight, make your snow white hair and tie the black ribbon around it, hold your hand and take you out for a walk, cook spicy food for you, feed you with my own hands, rub oil on your back and massage it well, cut your toe-nails, make your paan for you, introduce my husband (I know you called him 'Bappu'), watch you tell us the same story that you have been telling us since childhood ('ek hota raja, tyane khalla bhaja'), take good care of you and be there for you when you need anything, before this happened.

I dont remember the last time we met (must've been at Dada's wedding), but I distinctly remember the last time we spoke 5 weeks ago and your voice was no longer a slur, it had considerably improved. I didnt tell you then, but I had cried after we spoke, because hearing your voice after so long was very emotional for me and I wanted to meet you in person, especially after the last few years that have been so hard on you.

I know I too am a culprit because I havent done anything to improve your conditions and 'I am too far off' is a downright pathetic excuse for that. Realizing now that good intention without any real deed is of no use. For all we know, we may have had the fortune of having you around for more time, if I had been able to do something. I am sincerely very very sorry, Dadi. If possible, please forgive me for my inaction.

Strikes me now that there is no use crying on spilt milk and what remains with me are your precious untangible memories and an unforgettable bond of love. Wanted to let you know that you have been my most favourite grand parent and you will always be alive in my memory as that. I love you very much Dadi, and will miss you terribly. Terribly. Want to meet you again in my after life. Praying for your soul to rest in peace.

Amen.

Your grand daughter,
Sandhya